Birthday wishes

On my 40th birthday, I have a few wishes for this world.   Albert Einstein once wrote: "A human being is part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space.  He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

I wish freedom of consciousness for all beings and all things,  widening ever our spirit.

A spirit that soars, entwines, and embraces.  For the future of our world, let this spirit grow stronger every day. 

Old Growth

Haena State Park, Kauai

"Old growth" TK says as we hike on our search for a heiau.  How the Hala can grow large, opening to the sky.  How much I miss this already only five days ago.  Green has been on my mind as I live in concrete suburbia of a planned community.  I yearn for the unrestraint of Kauai.   The smell of old growth. The sweet salt of clean ocean.

I hold these memories as I finish two books from the reading list for the VONA workshop I am attending.  Incognegro and The Kite Runner.  Incognegro was a fast read as it is a graphic novel, a mystery of the 40s sort.   Disturbing as it rehashes lynchings in the American South and one man's quest to expose the murderous racism.  The Kite Runner is a movie I did not watch and got on Netflix.  I could not bear to watch it knowing that it would be sad.  There was something to the starkness of Afghanistan I didn't want to see, for I am sure it would remind me of the occupation of Iraq and the conflict in the Middle East.  That week, I didn't want to think about it as my sadness can feel overbearing remembering our family's loss.  Reading the story inspires me to write and I am glad for the example of what a writer can do with personal memories.  What do we do with our experiences as writers? Isn't that the point of writing?  Old Growth.  Memories, smells, our experiences are part of my Old Growth.  I should not shy away from walking in that place and loving it as I love Haena.

For Us All

"I love you, gentlest of Ways,

who ripened us as we wrestled with you.

You, the great homesickness we could never shake off,

you, the forest that always surrounded us,

you, the song we sang in every silence,

you dark net threading through us,

on the day you made us you created yourself,

and we grew sturdy in your sunlight...

Let your hand rest on the rim of Heaven now

and mutely bear the darkness we bring over you."

 -Rainer Maria Rilke, 

translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy

Compassion for others

I found this quote yesterday and it strikes me as important to remember.  

"There are people in this world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."  -Mahatma Gandhi

We often want others to take what we want to give them.  Sometimes people can only see what they need not what we think they need.  This is the nature of hunger and dissatisfaction. It is not their fault.  It is the fault of their condition.  We must have compassion to understand dissatisfaction.  It reminds me of what a mentor once told me, "The greediest people in the world are the richest and the poorest."  Wise woman she is.

Purity/Generosity

I just watched Arundati Roy on the different strategies of Resistance. She said something profound regarding our need for purity on the strategies of resistance. What we need is generosity for each other in embracing what we all do to resist in our struggles, be it for the end to the War in Iraq, decolonization, and the various movements for peace and justice in this world. Generosity is sometimes the hardest to give up when we are in the throes of doing and especially when we disagree with someone.

I wrote this sometime in August last year.  Reading this now gives me pause as I remember why I thought it was important.  In our efforts to make statements and make change for the better in our world, we come across people who may disagree with our viewpoint.  In movements, where we fight to reclaim or defend a place, principle, people or an idea it is easy to forget the humanity of those whom we are trying to move even those we call allies or friends.  Change is a process that requires compassion which in turn requires generosity on our part to be open to the other person's struggles with what we are asking for.  We can push our way for something, and I've been in that position, meaning in my staunchness was unwilling to compromise.  I remember the emotion behind that refusal.  It was anger.  I think I struggle with anger and what to do with that emotion around certain issues.  Under that though is sadness.  A good friend of mine taught me to look at what is underneath the anger.  Most of the time it is sadness.  An emotion that is hard to hold sometimes for it can be paralyzing.  

Sometimes the cause for my sadness is seeking purity and not finding it.  I strive for a place that exists only in my mind and refuse to see things for what they are.  I refuse to accept what resides in people's hearts.  I think that is a dangerous place to be, to refuse generosity to the differences in this world.  To refuse to see people for where they are at and not respect that place just because it is not where I would want them to be.  True compassion calls for embracing what is going on in other's hearts as we all struggle in the tides of Change.  Change happens in this world in many ways.  It can happen quickly in a flash or take time like the well worn stone found in a stream.  We have to be open to all ways of change. That is my mantra for today: I am open to the many ways of change.

P.S. The photo was taken at Makua Beach after the Makua Valley Vigil for the Holidays.   This is a value I hold dear, to engender hope during these times of great Change.